I only kidnapped one of them. chill
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
