Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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