it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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