At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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