When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She even gives head with a lisp.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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