Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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