i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
