I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
