you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize