The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
