You're my little dorito
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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