Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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