I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I want to fling myself into the sun
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
