Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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