I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
