you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
