: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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