TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
