Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
