So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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