ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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