Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
