The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize