I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize