just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
