6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He better not be in your backpack
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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