i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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