party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
