If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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