i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
