I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
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