alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
