yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
