glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm sobbing to NWA
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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