so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
