well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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