ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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