He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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