Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Randomize