i always forget guys have bellybuttons
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize