Define "chronic" masturbator.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
