I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
