I need help removing her.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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