i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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