his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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