She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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