I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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