These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
