So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
