just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
