You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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