Joe is yelling at the trees again.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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