don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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