i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
