ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
