Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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