that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
